The Birth Story Of Aisling Grace...

My 1st daughter was born by emergency c-section on the 26th November 2012 at 4:50pm. I was 37 weeks and 3 days. She was 43 cms long and a teeny 2 kilos or 4 pounds 12. Such a petite dainty little thing.

Aisling is only three years old. It feels like she's been here forever I can't imagine a time when she wasn't here yet at the same time I hear myself saying out loud often, Oh my goodness my baby girl is three already time really does fly! So while you read her birth story bear in mind that the day of her birth feels like yesterday yet at the same time it was really ages ago and so much has happened since so I may have forgotten some minor details.

I've mentioned this previously but here is a recap. At the beginning of November a midwife noticed my fundal height was measuring behind. She assured me it was probably nothing to worry about but she wrote a referral for a scan. 

I tried to get an appointment at my local hospital for the scan but seeing as it was just a "growth scan" I couldn't get an appointment for another 3 weeks. Being a first time mum and no consistent midwife {I was seeing someone different every appointment} to reassure me, I ended up making an appointment at a local x-ray and ultrasound place. This caused issues as the ultrasound technician didn't have the baby's previous measurements. At this ultrasound it was picked up that the baby was measuring a few weeks behind.

I then had an appointment with the doctors at the hospital clinic who referred me for another scan to compare the growth in two weeks between scans. Fortunately the doctor called and made the appointment for me and I was able to get in the next day. My husband knew this doctor from a common hobby they shared. He was very nice and spent a lot of time going over everything. He mentioned the possibility of being induced. 

At this scan the baby was still measuring behind but the ultrasound technician wasn't too concerned. Again because she didn't have the measurements from the previous growth scan she wasn't able to compare growth.

At my follow up doctors appointment I had a African doctor. I didn't really like her bedside manner. She went through my results and kept walking out of the room to check with the consultant. They decided as I was 37 weeks exactly and considered full term it was safer to induce me as baby had shown minimal growth and my fluid was decreasing. She instructed me to come in for a NST {non stress test, where they strap monitors to your abdomen which can measure the babies heart rate and any contractions you may be having} the next day (Saturday). She checked my cervix for dilation and informed me I was "so closed" then I had a NST that day which showed the babies heart rate to be fine.

The next day I called the birthing unit a few times until they told me I could come in around 4 pm. I had to go on my own as Aidan was at work. They hooked me up to the monitors, gave me a glass of ice cold water and left me in the room by myself listening to my babies heartbeat. It was one of the loveliest times of my life, just relaxing in a darkened maternity room knowing that in a few days I would be holding my precious bundle in my arms. The babies heart rate was fine and I was allowed to go home. I was to come back the next day to begin my induction.

The next day they wanted me at around 5pm {which I had to call about 100 times to discover when they had a free slot} and when I arrived they took me into a birthing suite and told me to take a wee sample and leave it in the toilet then get comfy. Not long later the obstetrician came in and informed me they were going to try and insert a balloon catheter as it was a more natural form of dilation with less chance of causing distress to the baby, but it if it wouldn't go in they would have to try the cervadil. I was made to get on the bed with my legs in the stirrups and they managed to insert the balloon catheter. That was the easy part. The painful and uncomfortable part was filling it with water. They got the bottom balloon fully filled however the top balloon was more painful and they only half filled it. I found this a bit disappointing as I felt I could have pushed through the pain. They told me I did well throughout the pain. After this was in the midwife told me to go for a walk outside with my husband to collect my suitcase as this was the last time I might be seeing daylight for awhile and then I could have some dinner and be shown to my room. I was upset because I really didn't want to stay in overnight but they wanted to keep an eye on me because my baby was small. On the way to being shown my room they took us into the special care unit to familarise us and introduce us to the concept that our baby might have to stay here for a little while.

My husband left the hospital late that night and was due back at 08:00am the next morning. My hospital unfortunately doesn't have the option of partners staying over.  

Once he left I had a shower and put myself to bed. It was hard to get around as I had a massive tube coming out of my vagina and strapped down my leg. 

Once I laid down in bed I started having intense period pain style cramps. I feel I have a pretty high pain threshold but these cramps were unbearable leaving me in tears and unable to get comfortable. If this was the pain before labour how was I going to make it through labour? I didn't want to have any pain relief so I battled through it with hardly any sleep until 3am when they gave me paracetamol and codeine and I finally managed to sleep for a few hours until I was woken up at 7am by a midwife "are you ready to come have a baby?"

Once in the birthing unit the doctor came to remove the catheter which had made my cervix 2 cms dilated and it was possible for them to break my waters which felt really cool, kind of like peeing yourself but having no control over the flow. After my waters were broken all I wanted to do was have a shower as I now stunk and was sticky everywhere and felt terrible. I was then given some breakfast which I threw up as I was tired nervous and in pain. By this stage my partner had finally made it to the hospital. I will never forget the image of him walking through the door with his backpack on his back and an excited yet scared expression on his face.  

A midwife who was training in cannulation put my cannula in and started the syntocin which is a drug used to stimulate contractions. The syntocin caused me to have severe period pain which the midwives said were mild contractions{only mild, really?}. 

During this process I was in pain, I was really tired and I felt sick. The midwives kept telling me to walk around as it would improve labour but I was so tired I wanted to lay down and sleep. I alternated with walking around for a bit then laying down.

They began watching her heart rate closely as it was dipping but it wasn't a concern at first. 

Around lunchtime they started becoming concerned because I wasn't really dilating and baby wasn't reacting well to the syntocin as her heart rate was dipping. They mentioned testing her lactate which was getting a blood sample from the top of her head and measuring the lactate levels. However they kept missing out on supplies that they needed such as a light and glycerine. 

They said a c-section was a possibility as it looked like she could be in distress and I wasn't very far dilated. 

They prepared a tray for the lactate procedure and I started getting nervous as I thought it would be very simple at first, but then they started preparing a sterile tray with all these surgical looking instruments. They gave me gas for the procedure which made me feel very lightheaded and drunk and dizzy. I heard the doctors voices spinning around in my head. It was very invasive. The doctor lined the metal cone up perfectly however some of my waters decided to gush out. The cone was misplaced and they then had to start again. It was just too much and I started to cry. Another doctor suggested getting an epidural. I was so tired I agreed. The anesthesiologist arrived pretty quickly as I was put at the start of the list even before another woman in active labour. I remember sitting with a whole room of medical professionals needing my consent to perform the epidural and feeling somewhat ganged up on. My doctor really wanted me to get one so they could perform the lactate test and the midwives and anesthesiologist were warning that getting an epidural when I wasn't even in active labour wasn't the best idea. In the end I gave my consent and the procedure began, which was a lot less scary and invasive and painful than the lactate procedure.

Aidan sat in front of me and I leaned on him while the anesthesiologist got to work. First he injected a numbing needle then inserted the epidural needle. It felt like a lot of pressure in my spine so he had to take it out and re insert it. When it was inserted correctly and working I felt relaxation throughout my body but then they needed to redo the lactate procedure. It was successful this time but I was still tense. They tested the lactate levels and they were 6.8 which is high and I was immediately prepped for a c-section. They put surgical stockings on me then wheeled me upstairs to theatre. The theatre had to be cleaned so I was waiting in the waiting bay for quite awhile. It was very peaceful and I felt really good. Apparently this was because of the epidural. I was shaking like from the cold and very emotional. I knew right behind those doors I was going to meet my baby.

I always thought if I had to have a c-section I would want to be involved and see as much as I could but in reality I didn't want to see or know what was going on. They inserted a catheter before they began an incision. Aidan sat with me while I was cut open. It didn't seem to take very long. Once Aisling was born they lifted her over the curtain so I could see her then Aidan went over to where they were cleaning her and the pediatrician was checking her. Once she was wrapped Aidan was able to bring her over to me. My first thoughts were how small she was and how she didn't have any eyebrows or eyelashes. I thought she looked completely different to how I imagined her. This was such a different reaction to how I imagined I first meeting would be.

Our first meeting.

Minutes old.

Aidan went with the baby to the special care nursery and I was stitched up then taken to recovery. I had to stay in recovery until the epidural wore off below my chest. They tested this using ice packs. I was sad I didn't have Aidan and Aisling with me but I was happy I had my student midwife to keep me company. Once I was allowed to leave recovery which seemed to be quite quickly, I was wheeled into the special care nursery where I was introduced to the staff and finally allowed to have skin to skin with my new baby. I was then taken to my room and Aisling was allowed to come in for a bit. Finally it was just Aidan, myself and our new little princess. It blew me away seeing how Aidan fell head over heels in love with her. He was very doting and protective of her. You never know how much you can love someone until you see them with your children.

Our first family photo.

Look at his arms. They are wrapped around her even when she slept in her cot.

Aidan stayed until quite late that night but went home and I tried to get some sleep. I had patient administered pain relief throughout the night. It caused me to have very short bursts of sleep but feel like I'd been asleep for ages. It was the longest night ever, imagine being a young child knowing you were getting the best present ever for Christmas but you had to wait just one more night. That's what it felt like. It was also very weird and sad not having Aisling in my tummy anymore and not having her in my arms either.

A nurse came early the next morning and removed my catheter and stood me up. It felt like my insides were falling out, a lot of pressure and massive stinging. But I was also nauseous and dizzy. I had to sit down or I felt like I was going to pass out and vomit. The nurse said she would come back later. When she came back {which seemed like an eternity later} I managed to stand and have a shower sitting down with her help. I was wheeled around in a wheelchair for the next day and a bit. We found out through blood tests that I had low iron levels that bordered on getting a transfusion but because it started going up I wasn't given the option of a transfusion. The nurse said breastfeeding it would take 3 months to feel normal, not breastfeeding it would take a month.
Late morning Aidan finally wheeled Aisling into my room and we were finally allowed to be together. From the moment I was able to walk again I spent every moment I didn't have to sleep in the special care nursery with Aisling. I felt like the nurses in the SCU expected me to be in there all the time but the midwives caring for me in the ward warned me to look after myself. I found it hard to find a balance.

Cuddles the day after her birth.

"No more photos please guys" I used to always look back through my photos on my phone to see her when I wasn't with her.

Her NG tube. She had this for a few days until she woke up a bit and could suck effectively. 

Driving her home. 

I found it hard to catch up on sleep and felt exhausted and teary. I would look at the other mums around the hospital and wonder how they were able to look so normal, I didn't wear a bra for the first couple of days as I was so sore and dizzy I couldn't do it up myself and then my breasts became so heavy and engorged.

Aisling was being fed through a nasogastric tube she started with formula until I was expressing enough milk to sustain her. She wouldn't latch unto my bare nipple so we fed with a nipple shield. I was happy with this decision and we didn't have any further troubles. Aidan did most of her cares until I was able to stand without feeling like I was going to pass out. We were in hospital and the special care nursery for a week. They were expecting her to be in for at least two weeks but she gained weight like a champion and we were allowed home. She came home with just me and Aidan on a Sunday evening at roughly 7pm. Aidan had gone back to work on that weekend and I remember waiting anxiously for him to finish so he could take us home.

At home I was anxious and exhausted and struggled as Aidan was working so much. In the special care unit they have a three hourly rotation so babies are fed every three hours. Because of this strict routine and I didn't know any better I thought that's what it had to be like at home. I didn't understand about cluster feeding and the likes. It breaks my heart to think that she would cry and I would try everything else leaving a feed for the last resort when all she wanted was to popped onto the breast.

At about 4-6 weeks Aisling started to be weaned onto formula and as my iron levels improved and I healed from my operation I started feeling better and back to normal. But I'll leave our settling in at home journey for another time..